And now, a tale well calculated to keep you in...
Suspense.
Listen now to The Old Man, starring Leon Janney in the title role,
and Reynolds Osborne as the director, written especially for Suspense by Bob Corcoran.
Madam, madam, you're standing on my cable.
Oh, you and your cable. Oh.
And a happy new year to you, too.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, from New York's famous Times Square,
where in less than six short hours, thousands of people will celebrate the moment we're all waiting for.
Goodbye to 1961 and welcome to 1962.
Wait. I beg your pardon. How does one get to Pennsylvania State?
Right that way, sir.
Even now, things are getting a bit crowded here as more and more people arrive,
anxious to be as close to the center of the crush as possible.
But I would miss it for the world.
No, not for the world, my folks.
Well, from my vantage point here on Broadway just north of 44th Street,
I can see the excitement in both directions.
Excuse me, sir.
I say, how does one get to Pennsylvania State?
That way, sir.
The famous lights of old Broadway are blazing, and I'm reminded of Chesterton's comment about
what a wonderland Broadway must be to the man who can't read.
Instead of cigarettes and beer and tissue paper, to such a man,
the lights might spell out hope and faith or advertise charity, goodwill, peace.
Well, now let's talk about one of the...
Oh, it's going to be my moment, my baby.
Good evening, sir. Happy New Year to you.
Yeah, you too.
And now here's the cab driver who...
Sir, sir, the cable.
Wait a minute. Wait.
Boy, are you nervous, Mac? Will you relax?
Big party. Happy New Year and all that jazzeroo-y.
Hey, what's that wire?
It's a radio cable, sir. We're on the air.
We're on the air. You mean people are listening to what you're saying?
Of course. This is a CBS radio network.
Hooray. Hey, give me that microphone, Charlie.
I got a great joke, a great joke. Oh, boy.
You know, Philip told at this party I was at,
it's a little dainty, but this is New Year's Eve.
I mean, that's very kind of you, but I'd like to talk to this gentleman here.
What's your name, sir?
Joe Walston.
And you're a cab driver?
Well, he's sitting behind the wheel of a taxi cab. What else?
How do you feel, Mr. Walton, working New Year's Eve?
Oh, just another night, only worse, but no complaints.
Do you always work New Year's Eve?
Oh, I didn't used to do now.
I mean, you got a party to go to if someone wants you around.
That's different.
Look, I'm working, an old guy like me. That's got to be good, right?
I agree, sir. I agree.
Look, there's this girl, you see, and she's got a cock-eyed parrot.
Yes, yes. That's very good. Very good, sir.
Boy, you could have choked fast.
Here's your cab, sir, right here.
Do I want a cab?
Well, you know how hard they are to get New Year's Eve.
Oh, yeah, I'll take it.
That's it. Step right up.
Sure.
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
Oh, thanks for talking to me, Mr. Walton.
Thanks for the fare.
And there, ladies and gentlemen, a picture and miniature of what's going on all over this great city, the whole country.
Some people celebrating, some working, but all mindful of the moment coming closer.
Off with the old year and on with the new, the ending that is really a beginning.
I believe that is all, Miss Fowler.
Yes, sir.
Sorry to have kept you late, particularly tonight, but these reports had to be completed.
I mean, if we haven't reports, where are we?
Oh, I agree, sir.
You're a young lady of great discernment.
Thank you.
Now, everything all set for the retirement ceremony?
Ah, yes, sir.
I detected a distinct change of tone, Miss Fowler.
Is there something wrong?
Plan's not well laid, organization disorganized?
No, sir, no, sir. Everything's working smoothly.
Well, then why aren't you happy? I'm happy.
Well, it's just, well, since you ask, it's the old man.
What about the old man?
Well, I just hate to see him pushed out, losing his job.
I see. You're new here, so I will explain, Miss Fowler.
It has become a cliché, which I nevertheless use when appropriate, that business is business.
I've heard you. I mean, yes, sir.
There is no room for sentiment here, no matter how well meaning.
Your feelings do your heart good, but our organization ill.
Retirement is the way of the world.
Age must give way to youth.
When a man's job is done, he must step aside.
I know that, but it seems a shame.
Not to the men coming up.
So the poor old fellow is just to be shoved out.
We have a nice party planned.
He knew when he took the job that it wasn't going to be forever.
I mean, it's not as if it were civil service.
I agree with everything you say, sir, but it's still a shame.
And we're giving him a lovely present, a stunning gold watch.
My assistant is giving him the good news at this very moment.
You go back and tell your boss I don't want a gold watch.
Not fooling me a bit.
There are hello presents and goodbye presents.
He's never said hello in his life.
Oh, I couldn't talk like that to the director.
Besides, I don't need a watch.
Got a time piece.
And I didn't need him to get it.
Whatever you say.
If you don't want the watch, well, we'll just have your farewell party without it.
Maybe there won't be any farewell party either.
What? You can't mean that.
You just never can tell.
No, sir.
As a matter of fact, you can tell him for me.
And then, sir, you will believe this.
Then, sir, he looked at me in the strangest way.
How strange.
Like this.
That's strange, all right. He's senile.
At the very least, sir.
He said he wasn't sure if he'd come to his farewell retirement party.
In fact...
Well, go on.
It's just that you'll get angry when I tell you.
Go on.
He said he might not retire at all.
What? You got angry.
Not retire?
But that's impossible.
Retirement is mandatory.
There's no choice.
That's what I told him.
What did he say?
He laughed.
When you get that old, I think it's called a cackle.
There it is.
The important thing here is to handle this quietly and efficiently.
We wouldn't want this sort of thing to come to the attention of the chairman of the board, would we?
Oh, no, sir.
We might be out of our directors' job.
I will deal with the impertinence lurking in that sentence as soon as this matter is straightened out.
Now, you will tell him that the rules are clear and that no exceptions can be made.
We are sympathetic but firm.
His retirement is here today, and it follows from this that tomorrow he won't be.
Hey, Johnson, you see the old man?
No, not in here.
Hey, fake it.
Old man been around here.
And since?
Tell him I'm looking for him.
Can't find him?
Is this the way you carry out my orders, a simple matter like this?
But sir, we've looked everywhere.
Since you haven't found him, that is an obvious untruth.
This is what comes of setting the retirement age so late.
You are right, sir.
He's senile.
I don't care what he is.
You get him in here.
Mister, I've driven you clockwise around Manhattan, now counterclockwise.
It's your money, but...
Hey, hey, mister.
Oh, well, there's this girl, see, and she's got a cockeyed parrot.
You told me, mister, six times.
Very funny.
Hey, look at that old guy over there.
This town's full of nuts.
No, no, no, no, he's no nut.
It's New Year's Eve.
Probably got lost on the way to a masquerade party.
It's gonna freeze in this weather.
How about picking him up, huh?
Oh, sure, sure, Mac, why not?
Anyway, there's this girl, see, and she's got a cockeyed parrot.
Hey, mister.
Yes?
You going to a party?
Well, I was invited to one.
Ah, it figures. That girl up there.
Hop in, I'll give you a lift.
There's a guy back there, but he's sleeping things off.
Excuse me, sir, but you're not a young man.
Not for a long time.
In fact, now that I look more closely, not what even might be called middle age.
Well, I guess you could say that.
You're an old man, too, just like me.
Now, wait, wait. Okay, maybe not middle age, but you're...
And here you are working.
No one's trying to push you out of a job.
Look, mister, you want to get in? I haven't got a year.
Yes.
You have now.
Huh?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I get it, I get it. Very good, yeah.
Well, yeah, it's a real rig you got on, mister.
That's how I got your crack about me having a year.
You go to a masquerade party, you go all the way, huh?
A complete bit, long white hair, the beard, the white shimmy,
whatever you call it, the hourglass, and that thing, yeah.
A size.
Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah.
You wearing slippers in this kind of weather, huh?
Sandals.
Oh, yeah, sandals, yeah, sure.
You know, take it from me, you're a cinch for a first prize.
They want to give me a gold watch.
Nice prize.
How come you already know you're going to win it?
It's for my retirement.
Masquerade retirement party?
No, no, just retirement.
Yeah, I see. Where can I drop you, huh?
Your hair is just as white as mine.
Look, my hair is just as white as your wig, right?
No one is trying to make you retire.
Like see someone try.
You are very fortunate.
They're giving you the squeeze out play at work, huh?
Yes, yes.
How long you been on the job?
365 days.
Oh, well, I thought you been there like, you know, 30 years.
It's about the time they all out the gold watches and wave bye-bye.
I don't need watch.
This hourglass works perfectly.
Huh? Huh?
Where can I drop you?
I've been reading lately about geriatrics.
Oh, sure, yeah, me too.
A man's age should have nothing to do with his holding a job as long as he can do it.
That's been proven.
I agree with you 100 percent, so don't quit.
And another thing...
I said just him, not those other two clowns.
Sorry, sir, I thought speed was the important thing.
Oh, it was his fault, officer.
I gave a clear hand signal.
Hey, what did we hit anyhow?
Are you satisfied with the trouble you've caused us?
No.
Get out of there.
I've had a very interesting talk with my friend here.
Hey, wait for me, pal.
At least you I know.
What's with all this?
We crack up when we're...
we're deadsville or something?
Please, you are not deadsville.
Nutsville?
I refuse to pursue this conversation.
Remain quiet, and as soon as this matter is straightened out, you will be returned...
Oh, look, mister, my meter is running.
Sit down, all of you.
1961, you sit there.
Right, 1961.
Miss Vara?
Yes, sir.
1962 here?
Right on schedule.
Well, if something is going right, bring 1962 in.
1962, nutsville.
There will be no muttering.
This lamentable matter can be cleared up quickly, smoothly, and efficiently.
Hey, you know, it's a long time between drinks, huh?
Boy, we sure drove a long way to get here.
Sit right here quietly, please.
Oh, sir, oh, oh, games.
Oh, that's great.
Where are the girls?
Oh, well, one is better than nothing.
But what kind of a party with babies?
Like none we were ever at, buddy.
Attention, please.
I believe I conveyed that thought.
Sorry, sir.
1961, to put it as briefly as possible, I'm appalled at your conduct.
We all are.
From time out of mine, we have always run things here orderly fashion.
Well, maybe it's time someone changed that.
One year giving way to the next.
No, since too, as far as I can see.
Now, if I couldn't do the job well...
The job is no longer yours to do.
Now, 61. I may call you 61.
Nutsville.
Yours has been a good average record.
If I'll show that you did things on time, you started spring on March 20th at 3.32 p.m.
Summer, as agreed, at 10.30 a.m., June 21st, and so on, so on, so on.
Now, suddenly, I find that you refuse to set aside at midnight tonight
so that your rightful successor can take your place.
Why should I quit for him?
It's the way you got the job.
That 1960 was falling down on his face.
I'm as good as ever I was.
That baby looks sort of stupid to me, anyway.
He didn't do anything but sleep.
Now, you see, I've been reading about geriatrics.
I know. That's what started this whole mess.
And I had a nice talk with my friend.
I know that too.
Well, here's something you didn't know.
You can call off your big fancy party that you got all set up for 12 o'clock tonight
because I'm not gonna be there.
Oh, dear. December 32nd, December 33rd, December 34th...
Oh, shut up!
It's just a level.
I haven't been drinking and I'm hearing the same thing.
Will you two be quiet?
Well, 1961, now that you've had a chance to think over this matter,
I'm sure you'll see the whole thing in an entirely different light.
Hmm.
Well, I'll say one thing for you.
You're off and wrong.
I took this job a year ago...
And a joyous occasion as well.
And I had things all planned.
Gonna do a lot of things.
Make the world better, people happier, things like that.
But you did fine.
I had Miss Fowler get some of your clippings together.
Give them to him, Miss Fowler.
Here you are. Highlights of 1961.
Very nice. See for yourself.
I saw them.
They're just a good part.
Oh, I got a mess of clippings not so good.
Well, I figure with my experience, I'll just stay on the job.
And make a little better name for myself.
Well, you just can't. And that's all there is to it.
Well, I checked.
And you can't get me out of this job unless I walk out.
Mr. Director, is that true? The rules...
I was not always an expert.
In the beginning, certain niceties of organizational procedure were overlooked.
The obvious excitement of exploding particles and expanding gases.
The gas is still expanding.
Until this unfortunate moment, this oversight has never occasioned any trouble.
In fact, 1929 wanted to quit before his term was up.
That was his business. My idea is to keep on the job.
But think of all the 1962 almanacs.
The calendars.
The speeches starting, poised as we are on the threshold of a new year.
I don't care about any of that.
Look, Mr. Director, I don't mean to butt in, but you're spinning your wheels.
You said right, Mac. Mr. Director, your son from 1961 is not mine.
Maybe we just sort of...
Quiet! I do not need to order, Morko, to tell me...
Times past, present and future. Assistant Director speaking.
Assistant to the Director.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Oh, I sure told him, Morko.
Well?
And stop smiling.
That was the Chairman of the Board.
Oh, big daddy.
He told me to tell you to be quiet.
Me?
You. So be quiet.
Really?
It seems that these gentlemen are not here by accident.
The Chairman planned that they would encounter 1961.
On Fulton Street?
He said he might be able to do what you obviously cannot.
Well, I know the Chairman of the Board is a very smart fellow.
Even with some of the people he's got working for him.
But you boys aren't making me change my mind.
Wouldn't try to anyway.
No, me neither.
That's more than I can say for some around here.
1961, you got any idea why the Chairman wanted us to talk to you?
Nope.
Unless he got tired of listening to this blabbermouth here as much as I did.
I've been wondering myself.
We're such a clean-cut type, you know?
Maybe it's because we sort of know more about you than anyone here.
I mean, we lived you, you know?
Yeah. I guess you did.
And even though this is where you keep time or dole it out or whatever goes on around here, we use it.
Sure. You go to the consumer every time if you want the facts.
You know, could be that we know things about you and your job that never occurred to you.
Now, you two aren't going to try to soft-soak me into the trash pile too, are you?
Look, we were talking about geriatrics, remember?
You bet.
This is no worse feeling than being useless, unwanted, or rejected.
You know too.
Oh, a guy doesn't push a cab around town New Year's Eve.
If someone like, say, a daughter and son-in-law ask him to stay home and join their party.
They want to give a party to get rid of me.
Well, that party's going on all over the world.
Sure, that's the thanks I get.
The appreciation. What have they got against me? Was I that bad?
To you. What kind of a year was I for you?
The worst year of my life.
Me?
Yeah. My wife and I were always, always going to take this trip, say, when we got a little ahead, you know.
Oh, sure, sure, man.
Then all of a sudden, it's just a little cold in the chest.
I tell you, old man, I won't be sorry to see you go.
What about you?
Oh, me? Well, I don't know how to say this.
Go ahead. It's all right. Whatever you got to say.
Well, I can't remember a better year. Got the breaks all the way, a lot of laughs, my health, the whole pitch, you know.
Yeah, that's not so bad, is it?
Oh, it's fine for him and millions like him.
For some other millions like me, even worse off, not so fine.
You see, old man, you're not just one year, not just 365 days and nights hooked together.
Seems to me you're as many years as there are people, and for each of them in their own special way.
You're a good year or a bad year, or all the mixtures in between.
But my job, my record, need to be these highlights.
Not yours, old man, people's. The lowlights, too. All you supply is the time.
That's not true.
And when you were young, like this little guy here, you brought hope, too.
The feeling that the old slate was sort of clean, we were all starting over.
Well, that's right. Kind of got the past behind you, all in one lump, and there's a whole new year, you know, to use any way you like.
You're not lying to me.
For what? I can always use some hope, but I wouldn't make a federal case.
People all over the world are looking to say goodbye to you tonight and hello to the kid. I'm with them.
What if I say no?
You got me.
We'll see what happens at midnight.
You gonna... you gonna tell anyone what happened?
Ah, not when I'm sober.
Oh, I sure glad I left my cab up there till tomorrow. What you gotta do in New York? Get a place to park.
What do you think the old man is gonna do?
I don't know. Can't say I blame him.
You know, I think he's gonna pack it in after he thinks it over. Guy talks big, then it comes down to it and he goes along.
Yeah, I hope you're right.
What are you gonna do now?
Oh, I don't know.
Hey, how about going over to Times Square, make it just about time for the big blast when they let that light go on at Times Building, huh?
Okay.
We'll get our answer there.
Answer?
Whether or not the old man quit. Everyone will for that matter, even if they didn't know about what happened tonight.
Oh, yeah?
Sure. You'll see. If when the whistles blow and the bells ring and everyone hollers, Happy New Year, we get that good feeling of hope, something beginning, better days coming, everyone all over the world will know the old man quit.
Suspense.
You have been listening to The Old Man, starring Leon Janney in the title role, Reynolds Osborn as the director, written especially for suspense by Bob Corcoran.
In a moment, a word about next week's story of suspense.
Going places tonight, lots of people are, and not everyone will reach his destination safely.
Unscheduled stops for many this night of nights will be emergency wards, hospital beds, and the morgue. It needn't be so.
Be extra careful, extra courteous, and moderate in tonight's celebration.
Suspense is produced and directed by Bruno Zirotto Jr., musical supervision by Ethel Huber. Featured in tonight's story were Lawson Zerbe as Joe Walston, Ivor Francis as the assistant to the director, Larry Haynes as the tippler, Ralph Camargo as the announcer, Rita Lloyd as Miss Pauler, and Guy Rep as Johnson.
Next week we will return with Breakthrough, written by William N. Robeson.
Another tale, well calculated to keep you in suspense.
Happy New Year from the CBS Radio Network.