And now, another tale well calculated to keep you in...
Suspense.
Time on my hands by Walter Black.
Justin, did you enjoy the roast lamb tonight?
Hmm? Her head was all right. Why?
Gertrude was wondering. She noticed you were frowning at the table.
None of her business if I was.
State of the world enough to make anyone frown.
Yes dear, I know.
Then tell Gertrude and tell her to mind her own business.
Justin! Why, she's been with us almost 24 years.
Besides, she's a gem and you know it.
She knows it too, that's the problem.
Well dear, after all this is 1939.
You don't find cooks like Gertrude growing on trees.
Just climbing on them, huh?
What, dear?
Nothing, Emily, nothing.
It's time for the news.
And with the grey-clad Wehrmacht poised on our eastern borders tonight,
Poland is a country steeled for the worst.
In Paris and London the mood is grim.
The communique is terse, and in some cases, nonexistent.
One informed source said that Prime Ministers Chamberlain and de Lattier
are considering a hurried flight to Berchtesgaden
with personal appeals to Chancellor Hitler.
But this could not be confirmed.
Oh, how awful.
Will there be a war, Justin?
Course. I don't think Roosevelt can keep us out of it either.
Sooner or later we'll be in it.
If only that Hitler would listen to reason.
You met him, my dear.
Does he strike you as the kind of person who would listen to reason?
No. But then it was so many years ago.
We didn't really know him.
You only have to meet the fellow who wants to know enough not to trust him.
How many times have I tried to tell people,
that man's a lunatic, you can't do business with him.
Destroy him before he destroys us.
How many times have I said that, Emily?
Many times, dear.
Yes, and I've gotten the same reaction I get from you.
Nice, gentle pats on the back.
Somewhere along the way you think someone would have had the sense
to blow the man's brains out.
You'd have saved the world a lot of grief.
Well, dear, even if someone had killed him,
wouldn't there have been someone else?
Perhaps.
But remember one thing, Emily.
In its own evil way, Hitler's a genius.
And geniuses are few and far between.
Yes, Margaret?
Mr. Scruggs is here, Mr. Driscoll, and he simply insists on seeing you.
You're darn right I do, Justin.
And it's a whole lot more important than your stocks and bonds.
All right, Owen, come on in.
I've done it, Just.
This is going to curl your hair.
Another invention, Orrin.
Now, don't say it like that.
Well, you'll forgive me if I don't jump up and down with glee
contributing to your inventions for a quarter of a century without one single...
Now, don't play the big finisher with me, Mr. Driscoll.
When we were boys back in Glen Falls,
we took an oath to help each other no matter what, didn't we?
Oh, sure.
It's been a little one-sided so far, though.
Well, this will balance the books all right.
I'm going to make you a rich man, Just.
I mean, a richer man.
Get to the point. I'm busy.
I've perfected a time machine.
And I hope it's not.
You what?
Perfected a time machine.
You're crazy.
Like a fox, I've invented a time machine, and it works.
You know what that means, Just?
I've broken through the fourth dimension.
Well, don't just sit there.
Orrin, you couldn't have invented any such thing.
It's only in those die magazines that time machines exist, not in real life.
It's a contradiction, don't you see?
No.
Time exists only because it's already in the past.
What hasn't happened yet doesn't exist because...
Well, because it hasn't taken place yet.
Don't you understand, Orrin?
What you say is literally impossible.
Emily, I'm still staggered.
Can you imagine what it was like to see the contraption actually work time and time again?
It was like being present at the dawn of a new era.
It must have been very interesting, dear.
How's Millie?
Huh? All right, I guess.
I only saw her for a moment, but... but, Emily, imagine the sheer magnitude of the discovery.
Oh, I do, dear.
Don't you get it? It works!
I went out there to Staten Island just to humor Orrin.
I didn't believe it for a second. How could I?
And I've come away a complete convert. It's... it's...
Staggering.
Exactly. Listen, he took their old retriever.
You remember Rex? And put some kind of contraption on him
and set the controls for exactly 11 years in the past.
Through the switch and the whole... the whole kitten caboodle just... just faded out.
Then he reversed the switch and it faded back in again.
Just like that.
Only get this, Emily. It wasn't Rex.
Or rather, it wasn't 11-year-old Rex anymore.
It was a little six-week-old puppy.
How sweet.
So then Orrin set the controls for exactly 11 years in the future.
Through the switch and poof! The puppy faded out.
But this time when he brought him back, it was old Rex again.
And none the worse for wear either.
Absolutely staggering.
Emily, do you realize that an Orrin's machine of man could go back in time to any period he chose?
Really, dear? How interesting.
He could go anywhere. Do anything.
He could even change history.
In just a moment, we will return for the second act of...
Suspense.
Remember this old day?
If I had an apple and added two oranges, one half a grapefruit and three quarters of a pineapple,
what would I have? Fruit salad, probably.
But if you took a USAPI course in analytic geometry,
added two courses in psychology, one in history, and two in literature,
you'd have... well, you'd have an education.
Yes, an education is as broad as the man who studies wants it to be.
And the educated man is the one who usually gets ahead in his chosen field.
Any one for USAPI?
Now, let me get this straight.
You think you can go back 30, 35 years, knock off Adolf Hitler,
and then come back to 1939 just like that?
Why not?
What makes you think you could commit murder?
Killing Hitler wouldn't be murder, Orrin.
He needs killing for the sake of the whole world.
Think of it, Orrin. A world without fear.
Yes, sounds real peaceful.
But it might be kind of dangerous, just tinkering with history.
Ever think of that? Certainly.
Look, the only way Hitler's ever impinged his own impression on others is through evil, right?
I'd only be eradicating the evil.
And if it changes people's lives, it'll be for the better.
Hmm. What about Emily?
What about her?
Well, I can hear her right now when you tell her.
She'll either put you right to bed and call your doctor,
or else she'll get your button to strap you down and call the nearest psychiatrist.
Justin Waterfield Driscoll, you must be out of your mind.
No, Emily.
Now here you are, going on 55 and still trying to act like one of the rova boys.
But, honey... Why, you've got a position to maintain, a firm and a board of directors you're supposed to be responsible to.
If you don't leave...
You think I'd let you go off by yourself without anyone to watch out for you?
If you'd just let me get one word in...
What did you say?
When?
You said you wouldn't let me go off by myself.
Naturally not.
Does that mean you would let me go if I took somebody?
Well, not somebody. Me.
You?
Well, if you can do it, why couldn't I?
I beat you at ping pong and tennis, don't I?
I'm not the one who always complains about walking too fast up in the country, am I?
And Dr. Sexter says my physical condition would do a girl of 25 per hour.
I know.
No buts, Justin.
Either you take me or you don't go.
And furthermore, you don't just walk into a thing like this without a lot of preparation.
For example, how are you going to get back to where we...
I'll be darned. She really said all that just that and a whole lot more.
And let me tell you something, Orrin.
She made sense. She even figured out where to go.
Where?
Linz, Austria.
Never heard of it.
We were there on our honeymoon in 1908.
It's Hitler's hometown, Orrin. That's where we met him.
You know, I told you about meeting him.
Hundreds of times.
This is hardly the time for sarcasm.
Sorry.
The machine can get us back there, can't it?
Don't see why not.
Emily even remembered the evening we met him.
Trust women for dates.
We got to Linz on July 15th and on the 16th we went to this bear garden.
So you fix it so we can be back in Linz on July 16th, 1908.
And we'll take it from there.
All right.
All right now. Just about ready.
When I throw the switch, you'll be in Linz, Austria.
And it'll be sometime late in the morning of July 16th, 1908.
Right. I'm giving you 24 hours and that's all.
Tomorrow morning I'll reverse the switch and bring you back.
Right.
Now remember, Joss, you'll be 23 and, uh, M?
I'll be 21.
Uh-huh.
Now good thing you got the old style clothes.
You look kind of funny running around in 1939, Dud.
Oh, got enough money? All we need.
Oh, you thought of everything, haven't you?
Of course, Orrin. Now can we go?
Just one thing more.
What?
Forget the whole idea. No.
Why, Orrin, don't you believe in your own machine?
It's not the machine, M.
I just don't like the idea of pampering with your lives this way, Emily.
And besides, how do I know your personalities might not be changed?
Save your breath. Our minds are made up.
Well, if you say so.
Wish us luck, Orrin.
Oh, I do. Maybe you can bring back Hitler's scalp as a memento.
There's no call to be vulgar.
No, ma'am.
Well, I can't talk. You're out of going.
Oh. Hang on, then.
Say goodbye to Millie for us.
Yep. Here you go.
The next time your friends talk about that rat-skeller back on Third Avenue,
you can tell them all about the real thing now, can't you, darling?
Oh, I certainly can.
Oh, isn't this sweet? The atmosphere is so...
So heavy you could cut it with a knife.
And the women, just. Did you ever see so many fat ones?
Must be all that Venus, schnitzel and hassenpepper they eat.
Justin?
Yes, my love?
Do you think they all know we're newlyweds?
Well, I think all the men are jealous of me,
and all the housefrauds are envious of you. That's what I think.
Justin, dear.
Yes, my love?
I like being Mrs. Driscoll.
I love you, Mrs. Driscoll. Come here.
I'm not here, Justin.
Why not?
I've got the prettiest bride in the world,
and if I want to kiss her in a beer garden, who's to...
Two people do not need an entire table.
What? Oh. Oh, you, uh... you wish to join us?
I wish to sit and drink my schnapps.
Move over, Emily.
You, uh, American?
Yes.
I could tell.
What did he say, Justin?
He just asked if we were Americans.
Uh, my name is Driscoll.
Uh, minefrau.
Minefrau. I understand that, darling.
Hitler.
I beg your pardon.
My name. Adolf Hitler.
Well, I'm glad to meet you here, Hitler.
You Americans are all rich, I know.
Far from it. Most of us are just...
You are rich, though.
Well, I don't see that there are any...
You have servants and automobiles and houses and all the food you want.
That is obvious.
The Americans are all alike.
Soft. With too much food and too much change a living.
He sounds unpleasant to you. What's he saying?
Nothing, dear. He's probably had too much to drink.
They say that in America you are ruled by your women.
Is that true, America?
No, it's not.
I know the devil gave you the right to ask these questions.
No one. I am Adolf Hitler.
I do as I please.
Hitler.
You say it as if it means something.
It means nothing to me.
Wait, American. It will one day.
What are you? What do you do?
I am a painter and an architect.
Let's go, Justin. I don't like him.
Frankly, dear, neither do I.
I am also a revolutionary.
Ah, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. A Bolshevik.
No, no, American.
A German revolutionary. Quite a different thing.
I believe in a Germany that will rule the world.
Including your part of it.
In America we have a few people like you, Herr Hitler.
Only we call them crackpots.
Come on, Emily.
Hurry back to your nice rich hotel, American.
Before you hear a few bitter truths.
Hurry back and hide your head under the bed cover.
What an awful person, Joss.
Let's not come back here again.
In just a moment we will return for the concluding act of...
Suspense.
For centuries the word ahoy has been an indispensable part of the Mariner's vocabulary.
It's an attention-getting hail and a nautical hello, generally heard with interest and sometimes pleasure.
A thousand and more years ago the word ahoy yelled in fierce chorus by the crew of a high-proud galley was heard with dread.
It was the war cry of the invincible Vikings.
In this complex world where word meanings are constantly changing, it's easy to be misunderstood.
That's why it's a good idea to know your words.
Oh, isn't eating breakfast out here heavenly, darling?
They ought to have sidewalk cafes all over New York.
I wonder why they don't.
Well, with all the automobiles on the streets you'd choke to death on the fumes.
Uh-oh.
What's the matter?
Here comes that chap, that, um, Hitler, the one we met last night.
Oh, no.
Ah, there you are, hair American. We meet again.
Don't talk to him, Jack.
I thought I would find you here. I simply asked myself which is the most expensive hotel in all of Linz.
And here I came and here you are.
Oh, see here, we're, uh, we're eating our breakfast and we'd like...
I brought you some of my architectural studies. I think some might appeal to you.
The money would mean little to you and someday they would be worth many times what you pay for them.
Now, look here, hair Hitler.
I consider this one of my best, if not the best, the cathedral.
Well, what do you think?
Um, very interesting.
Oh, here, here, here, two studies of the town hall from different angles and here, Vienna, the chancelory.
And here's another one of Vienna, the emperor's residence.
Which do you like the best?
None of them.
Oh, you are angry about what I said last night. Very well, I take no offense.
You see, American, I am, um, fair-minded.
Now, which do you wish to buy? I will be very reasonable.
None of them.
And as for the, uh, bitter truth, I don't think you have any talent at all.
I, I wouldn't give you one fennec for the whole lot.
Very well, American. Today it is your turn.
One day soon it will be mine.
You think you'll sneer at me? Tomorrow you will be begging for mercy, you and all the other scouts.
Now get out before I throw you out.
What makes you so brave, American? Money?
One day I shall control more money than you ever dreamed of.
Power! One day I shall be the most powerful man in the world,
and when that day comes you and your kind will be crushed.
Like that? American pig, I spit on you!
Just, just.
I'll give you to your soft life, American pig.
Enjoy it while you can. Our day is coming!
What, what was he screaming about, John?
Never mind, he's, uh, he's mad as a hatter. Forget him.
Uh, later, more coffee.
Not for me, Josquin. That dreadful man's absolutely ruined my whole morning for me.
Don't worry, darling. We'll never see him again.
Ah, there. There you are. None the worse for wear.
How are you feeling?
Orrin. That's me. Feeling okay, Emily?
I guess so.
What are we doing here?
Just brought you back. Here, let me get those attachments off you.
What do you mean you just brought us back?
Well, to equalize you back to your actual ages, I had to shoot you 31 years into the future
before I could get you back here to 1939.
Listen, Orrin, if this is a joke, I'm not sure I appreciate it.
There we are. Now, what seems to be the trouble?
You don't feel any after effects, do you?
After effects of what, Orrin?
Now don't start any of your scientific mumbo jumbo, because I wouldn't understand it.
I thought your time machine worked. Why didn't you send us to Lentz?
Now, just hold everything right there.
Are you trying to tell me that you don't remember anything?
What's there to remember?
I had Thomas drive us all the way out here this morning, didn't I?
No. Oh, no, my friend, not this morning. That was yesterday morning.
What?
Did you shave before you came out to my place?
If my early morning habits are of any interest to you, Orrin Scruggs, I shave every morning.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Well, feel your whiskers.
But I did shave. I distinctly remember.
Sure, George, sure. Yesterday you shaved.
Orrin, what are you trying to tell us?
I'm trying to tell you that you and Jusk went back to 1908 exactly 24 hours and six minutes ago.
I don't believe it.
Huh?
Well, I couldn't be, Orrin. Well, we just put on those attachments a minute ago.
Where's your purse, Emily?
That's right. I'm... No, that's funny. I'm positive I brought it with me.
You did? Yesterday? You must have left it behind you.
Orrin, we've been friends a long time. Don't play with us anymore.
I'm not Jusk. It's the gospel truth, I'm telling you. And it's about the most ironical thing that's ever happened.
The first people ever to go back in time don't remember a thing about it.
No.
Oh, yes. Orrin, even if what you say is true and you did send us back, maybe... maybe I accomplished what I set out to do.
Afraid not, old boy. Poland just surrendered. Came in on the eight o'clock news. Your friend Hitler's very much alive.
But what happened in the last 24 hours, Orrin?
Afraid you're the only one who can tell me that. And you don't remember anything at all?
You said, here you go, and the next thing I knew you were asking us how we felt.
Uh-huh. Well, tell me something. Can you remember meeting Hitler? Talking to him?
Oh, I remember it very well because he was such a dreadful little man. But it was so long ago, Orrin. So many years.
We saw him twice. At the beer garden in front of our hotel the next morning. But you know all that, Orrin. I've told you that.
Yes, yes. Hundreds of times. I was just seeing if maybe I could jog your memories of the past 24 hours. But I guess it's no use.
Now what?
Nothing.
Couldn't you send me back alone? Probably could. But I won't. Like I said before, I don't like tampering with people or history either. Besides, I guess it just wasn't fated to be.
What do you mean?
Well, can you imagine just killing anyone?
Of course not. At least, well, I don't think I could.
Well, there you are. Maybe your subconscious was what kept you from remembering. Or maybe it was the machine. It doesn't really matter. But it does prove one thing.
Even a time machine can't change a man's character. Oh, you had a good idea, Joss. Crazy, but sometimes they're the best.
Only trouble is, you picked the wrong fellow to do the dirty work.
Suspense.
You've been listening to Time on My Hands, written for suspense by Walter Black.
Heard in tonight's story were Vera Allen and Santos Ortega as Emily and Justin Driscoll, Marian Russell and Bill Lipton as the Driscolls on their honeymoon, Ted Osborne as Orrin Scroggs, and Bob Dryden as adult Hitler.
Listen again next week when we return with Ivy is a Lovely Name by Sam Pierce, another tale well calculated to keep you in...
Suspense.
Suspense has come to you through the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.
Suspense.
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